One of the most annoying things in our life is when we don't know which choice to make. No matter how much we analyze our options, none of the choices we have before us feel right for us. Some of these choices are well known and many people have to make them like career vs love or staying vs leaving a relationship, while others are uniquely personal.
Why a divided mind?
We often are at war within ourselves, because we have different ideas, wishes and wants and those are often at odds with our beliefs. For example: you might want to enjoy a long weekend away, but you also feel that you have a backlog of work, have responsibilities at home or need more finances. The need to relax is at war with the need to be responsible. For many people this is a daily occurrence, but most conflicts are small and are easily compromised. You might decide to take a weekend off in a few weeks, have a day off instead of a long weekend or ask for help with your responsibilities.
A divided mind can also occur when we are suppressing our feelings, trying to make the smart choice even when we feel that isn't right. For example: after a partner cheats on us, we might want to protect our hearts and dump them, even if a large part of us wants to forgive and move on. This type of conflict is much harder, because often there is no compromise to be had in our minds. It's either move on or keep trying.
Dealing with a divided Mind
Step 1: Grant yourself some slack.
When we are divided and have trouble choosing often it's easy to berate ourselves, claim that we are indecisive or that we need to take a decision now. It's hard to feel like you are flip flopping between choices, as most people want to have a clear path and feel decisive. So, recognize that with a divided mind a choice can't be made.
Step 2: Give voice to your Divided Mind
Write down thoughts on both side of the issues. Get in touch with all possible viewpoints. Connect to your feelings. Take some time with each part of you.
Step 3: Give yourself peace
Give yourself peace by releasing any deadlines. Taking time to deal with your divided mind is more important then the decision that needs to be made. You need to heal that first before moving forward.
Step 4: Start healing your Divided Mind
Using your list, check which of your thoughts processes are fears and anxieties based on past events or on the future. Start healing those with EFT, visualization, meditation or other healing modalities. Once those disappear you will immediate notice relief in your divided mind and feel better concerning the choice you have to make. Check if any of the other things you wrote down need healing. Once everything is cleared up it will be easy to prioritize and find the solution that is right for you.
Step 5: Make your choice and move forward with peace of mind
Do what you feel is right and adjust whenever necessary. Life is full of changes.
If you have any problem healing your Divided Mind, don't hesitate to contact me to discuss options. Want to share a Divided Mind story? Comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page.
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