Today I was having a relaxing moment with a few magazines, when some inspiration bubbled up concerning a blog post. There are many ways in which we can make Decisions and I wrote an article already on Psychic Decisions, but today I want to talk about emotions underlying those decisions and specifically how fear can make us take decisions that aren't right for us.
Decisions: Goals
We usually make a decision based on the goal we want to achieve. So we might decide to go to a workshop, because our goal is to learn or to do something new or to meet new people or a mix of goals. We might decide to get married, because we want to commit more to a partner, want tax benefits or... well you get the idea.
Often, we have multiple goals we'd like to achieve when we make decisions. Some might be more important then others. Some might be more achievable then others. However, if we reflect on our decisions, you can see those goals quite clearly. Taking the time to look at underlying goals sometimes can change your decision, because another decision might be better to achieve those goals.
Fear based Decisions
Underlying our goals and decisions are feelings - sometimes these are positive feelings, but sometimes they are not. When we are afraid we are going to lose something or that something won't work out, we make different decisions. Often these aren't the right ones for us so I always caution everybody to reflect on why you make a certain decision.
Example: Fear based decisions in romantic relationships. A client really wanted to have a fulfilling long term happy relationship. However, when dating, she often had short unsatisfying encounters. I gave her the insight that she wanted to be liked a lot and feared men weren't interested in her unless she acted in a certain way. By acting in a way that wasn't authentic, she didn't meet who she needed to meet. When she let go of her fear, she met the person who was right for her.
Example: Fear based decisions in our career. A client really wanted to have a job that would challenge her. However, she didn't have the required certification/diploma's the field she wanted to work in, so she feared she'd never get a job. She only ended up in jobs that didn't make her happy and left her unfulfilled. I gave her the insight that this pattern would continue until she would own her own talents and try for those jobs that were right for her. I have faith that she will end up where she needs to be.
Exercise
Finding out if fear has been affecting your decisions in your relationships and life, reflect on the following questions:
- Do you say Yes to others, because you are afraid of their reaction if you say No?
- Do you stop yourself from buying things, because you are afraid you won't have enough money?
- Do you keep things that aren't useful to you or you don't like anymore, because you are afraid you don't have enough?
- Do you stay in relationships or situations that don't work out for you because you are afraid that a better situation won't happen?
- Do you fear not taking a chance or opportunity because you are afraid it won't come again?
Want help on a decision or more self awareness? Ask for an E-mail Reading or join in on the discussion the blog or Facebook Fan Page.
Share On
No comments:
Post a Comment