Recently one of my clients asked me why I don't speak much about future events in sessions. Many people know the stereotype of the Psychic who tells you you will meet a dark tall stranger or have three kids by 35. If they question those predictions they are often told that they need to be open to it. There are quite a few reasons on why I don't work that way, but here are the most important ones.
Telling people the future is often not helpful
If I do see you married with three kids by 35, telling you that future is often not helpful. What are you going to do now that you are 25? Wait a few years? Sit in your hands? Keep your eye out for the person I described instead of living your life and experiencing it? Fearing that you miss out if you fall in love with somebody else?
I personally feel that the things I say in sessions should be helpful. It's important that you keep the agency in your own life, that you are in charge, deciding how to live your life. When you are in charge, you can listen at any time to everybody and decide on your own if you want to take their counsel and advice or not. If you aren't in charge or want to put me in charge, you feel dependent on my counsel or approval and that is a very unhealthy dynamic in my eyes.
Sometimes however, telling people about their future is helpful. Here are two examples:
- I've told somebody that I was certain that she'd have a child and it helped her in a difficult IVF journey, even though she had trouble believing me. In the darkest times when she thought that she was doing it all for nothing, she remembered what I said and it gave her some solace. She has a lovely child now.
- I told a client who was worried about finishing her studies that she'd not be working in them, as the field wasn't a right fit for her and she'd be working with older children/teenagers soon. She dismissed me as she had no qualifications for working with children, but when an opportunity arose a few months later, she remember my counsel. It reduced her anxiety about starting something completely new and she loved her new job.
While I can imagine we all would like to know about the beautiful highlight of our lives, I always prepare sessions asking what's most important keeping the clients highest good in mind. Often I'm asked to remove old blockages, discuss behavior and talk about what's important in their lives.
While I'd love to do everything in a session, I always have to make choices. Since I know that the future will change based upon how clients change during sessions, predictions about the future are usually done when we near the end of the healing stage. This ties back into what I wrote in the article: "Why do I need to heal first?"
What if I do want advice on my future?
I have no problem giving you advice on your future, as long as you keep the following in mind: I see the future, but the accuracy of the predictions isn't always the same. For me the future is like a river, which can flow in many different directions, based on your choices, but some things are like rocks, you will always meet them as they divert the flow of your river. The further away I look, the harder it is to see the flow, but I will always still see the rocks.
You can ask broad (what's going to happen in the next 2 months) or specific (what do you see happening in my relationship with X") questions. The more specific you get and the smaller the time frame (weeks instead of months) of the question chosen, the higher your chances of excellent results. If I get an unclear answer or no answer, I will always tell you.
So if you do want to advice on your future or work with me to make better choices, just request a Reading. Don't be surprised however, if your Reading shows you that you need to take care of other business first!
Want to discuss this article? Post a comment on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.
We all want somebody else to step up sometimes, by which we mean take the role we want them to take: being their best selves. We often don't acknowledge where we need to step up, because staying small is comfortable and familiar. So today I'm going to write about stepping up yourself and being committed to who you are and a simple exercise that you can do see where you need to step up.
Stepping up
Stepping up is very important, because we all agree that living to your fullest potential is something to strive for. Even so, I don't often see people stepping up and evolving beyond their comfort zone. It's no wonder when we have sayings like: "Don't rock the boat". Change can be frightening and it's sometimes hard to move forward even when we know it's very rewarding.
Around the start of the new year or around their birthday is often the time when people start thinking about stepping up as they think on what they intend to do with their year. I prefer doing the following exercise a few times a year to clear a path for myself and invite you to join me.
Exercise; Stepping up
For this exercise you need to have a pen, some paper and some quiet time. I prefer to answer the questions on a different sheet of paper, so I can see where I need to step up the most, but you can write the answers down however you like. You can take around 5-10 minutes to answer each question.
Question 1: Do I need to step up in my self care?
Sub questions: Do I sleep enough? Do I eat the right things? Do I relax enough? Do I engage in activities that make me feel happy, make me grow and excite me? Do I feel happy, healthy and whole? Do I have time problems (not enough time, doing things at odd hours etc.) or planning problems (always feeling stressed, feeling behind on many issues etc.) that need to be addressed?
Once you have finished answering those questions, outline an affirmation based on your answers and/or make a plan to address what needs to be done.
Question 2: Do I need to step up in my personal relationships?
Sub questions: Do I make my boundaries clear? Does everybody treat me how I want to be treated? If they don't, do they face consequences? Do I feel every bond is positive and if not, what can I do to make the situation better? Do I have resentments or problems with people that I haven't addressed?
Once you have finished answering those questions, outline an affirmation based on your answers or make a plan to address what needs to be done.
Question 3: Do I need to step up in my professional life?
Sub questions: Does my job still fulfil me? Do I get along with colleagues and clients? Do I like almost all aspects of my job and if not is there a possibility to change that? Do I feel like I'm growing towards something or am I at a dead end? Am I satisfied with my job? Do I like the environment I work in?
Once you have finished answering those questions, outline an affirmation based on your answers or make a plan to address what needs to be done.
Question 4: Do I need to step up in my spiritual life?
Sub questions: Do I feel that I'm on track? Am I still growing and evolving? Is there something I know I need to do and haven't? Have I've been exploring new area's? Have I forgiven slights against me? Do I have healthy energy? Am I committed to my Soul? Do I feel like I'm loved and cared for?
Once you have finished answering those questions, outline an affirmation based on your answers or make a plan to address what needs to be done.
After you are done, take a good look on where you need to step up and revisit your answers and your plan in 2-3 weeks. You will be surprised with how much energy you gain by stepping up. Remember, don't try to plan everything at once. Making changes costs a lot of energy too.
If you have any problem stepping up or feel like you can't keep to your plan, don't hesitate to contact me to discuss options. Want to share your answers from this exercise? Comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page.